Katy Klein Has a Chat

Every once in a while I like to hit a proper runway fashion show to feel like I still have a chance at being fashionable and Melbourne’s Spring Fashion Week always has a good vibe to it. Whilst being quite stylish, everyone is still welcome, from 16-year old wannabee models to 50- year old wannabee fashionistas.   

There is something so bemusing about catwalk shows.  Twiggy little models, with boobies I would have been disappointed with as a 12-year old, do that weird runway walk. It sort of looks like they are being dragged down the runway by their pelvis whilst simultaneously falling backwards off their high high heels. The boys get to walk fairly normally since non-surprisingly there is no high-heel male shoe to cause them to lope along like newly born foals.  So they just stride on down like they are late for the pub. The boys do seem to fall prey to a little known muscular problem however, which may result from their super big hair. Some of their necks struggle to support the weight of product required for big hair which leads to a hunched look. One of the male models also looked exactly like a pig-faced bat which is very cute on bats, less so on boys.

In some ways attending fashion shows is kind of like car racing, you go because you might see a crash.  I am always expecting one of the super skinny lasses to snap a fetlock .  To date none have, which hasn’t stopped me believing that it’s possible.  We did see a fall last night, there was a collective gasp from the crowd but the model pulled through without any knickers being displayed at all.

The highlight of the night for me was of course the goodie-bag.  We even paid extra for the ‘good’ setas to get one.  Goodie-bags are the adult version of show bags, full of stuff you didn’t really need but is still really cool to have.  The bags had a good range of product sachets which I absolutely love.  There’s something about nice products in teeny tiny containers that just pleases me.

Anyway, I didn’t see any clothes that were for me but since most of the items are unlikely to feature at Target, that’s not surprising. I also think that designing clothes for walking clothes hangers shows very little imagination.  It’s sort of like sticking cut out clothes on paper dolls, it’s two dimensional. Designing clothes that enhance regular women and camouflage their life-trophy flaws on the other hand strikes me as a much better challenge.  And with obesity on the rise, the size 6 figure may be becoming extinct and then what will the designers do?